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My recent meltdown was due to an incident on a CGI chat room. I was helping a couple of people set a shot for a scene involving green screen and compositing 3D rendered artifacts in blender for a short film and showed them a video I had made to give examples of what you have to do to with lighting and masking to make it look like the objects or characters are really in the scene instead of pasted in there.

Suddenly someone posts a picture from my FA gallery of the character in the video and screams “HE'S A FUR FAG!”

Normally this kind of stuff doesn't bother me, but this was a room full of professional level cgi artists and everyone started in on how I shouldn't be there because I was a furry and made pornography. Then to top it all off one of the people that I had been helping said, “Forget it, we won't learn anything useful from him. Can anyone else help us?”

It has finally made me realize there is no fucking place for me in this world. I'm still going to make my comics and art, still going to post them to FA and DA among other places but I'm no longer going to try getting artistic jobs or deal with the real world in any way any more.

All I want to do is entertain people give them something to smile or laugh about, but seems that is beyond my reach in this hellish world.

You know what fuck this world and everyone in it, but to the fucker that Pmed me and told me “Hahaha, I have your IP address now I'll find out who you really are and send your porn to your boss and everyone you know to get you fired and have everyone hate you and ruin your life!”


Well guess what, job knows I'm a furry, it's minimum wage and I'd rather die than go to it anyway. Everyone I know in RL has already seen most of my artwork so showing them the stuff I haven't shown them will only creep them out a bit. I'm almost 50, working a minimum wage job, I have more debt than I'll ever pay off and no hope of getting job I'd want to do. I go to sleep each night praying I don't wake up and wake up several time a night cussing because I have and lately I have taken a horrible interest in wondering what a muzzle flash really looks like when looking down the barrel of a shotgun, so how the fuck are you actually going to ruin my life.

Long, long time ago back in the 80s when I was first starting to like girls, I began to develop the expansion fetish. Now every other guy at school liked really really really skinny twig like girls so I thought there was something wrong with me. To add to my worries I also thought that werewolves, alien cat women (thank you Star Trek) and Maid Marion Fox was really really hot too.

This caused me lots of confusion and even got a psychologist wondering if I was gay because I told him I didn't like the girls that everyone was telling me I should like. I think it would have been easier if I was gay because then I would have had other people to be gay with.

This resulted in me writing stories and drawing pictures for wank purposes and then being horrified at what I had just done, burning all the evidence so no one would ever see it, and repeating. It was like trying to dispose of a dead body every few days or so and suffering the blind terror that someone was going to see you doing it.

Now we flash forward to the late 90's and I am first able to get on the internet. Friend told me it was like Alice's Restaurant, you can get anything you want. So one day looking at the Infoseek home page I typed in “Inflatable Werewolf” and the first link was the “FurSize Inflatable Furries” page.

Several click later and I had broken down in tears. I cried so hard I could not see the screen in front of me. My whole life I had though something was terribly wrong with me. Now, well there was still something terribly wrong with me, but now I wasn't alone. I had people, it was like going from an empty planet to a crowded room.

This instilled in me a tremendous sense of debt to all these wonderful artist, writers, and people in the furry and expansion community, you gave me EVERYTHING. The only way I could think to repay this kindness was to add to wonderful world. I starting doing art and writing again. I posted it to the web in the hopes that someone would enjoy it and maybe be inspired to do art as well.

Now to my ranting, lately I have noticed several artists here on DA, FA, and various Art Chans being rude, abusive, and sometimes down right batshit crazy to their fans. There is a common thread that these artists believe that the fans OWE them for them graciously gracing them with their art and if they don't provide sufficient money and ass kissing they will just go away and take their art with them.

Well I have one thing to tell all these people, FUCK YOU! That's right FUCK YOU, FUCK the horse you rode in on and FUCK your dead great grandmother. Most of you don't remember a time without the internet, most of you don't know what it feels like to be absolutely totally alone and I certainly never want to wish that on ANYONE!

Fans and artists of our community owe you NOTHING, but you owe them EVERYTHING! When you realize this you are going to become a much better person, you will become someone that is trying to make the world a better place.

Friend loaned me money to get new power supply, don't know how I am going to pay them back. :(
Computer is dead, think it is the power supply, don't have any money to fix it so I guess this is good bye.

Okay lets try to explain the pricing better.

$25

Neko1 by ExpandomaticBeach by Expandomatic
Single original character designed to your specifications with simple object or photo background.  I will revise the character until you are happy with the design (with in reason, suddenly changing the entire concept like starting with I want a cartoonish boy fox and asking can you make him a realistic hyper breast girl is not reasonable)

+ $15
Foxpop 8 by Expandomatic
$15 added to the total for each additional character added to the scene. (Notice, I will not charge for adding one of my own characters to a scene at your request, so if you were wanting an interaction with Mega Mom and your original character that would be $25)

$10
Happy Preggy by Expandomatic
Never expected people wanting commissions of my characters, but I'll do them for $10 and that is up to 4 characters in one scene.

$50
Syndy vs Randy round 4 by Expandomatic
3 panel comic or sequence of up to 2 original characters of your design.

$100

Page 1 by Expandomatic
Full page comic of up to 8 panels or an 8 panel sequence of up to 2 original characters of your design.


 

Now then, complex backgrounds, this is where it can get hairy. Props that I have on hand, (and I have a massive library of models) make building a set pretty quick, but when I have to model the props myself that is when the time factor hits. This is pretty much where we have to just discuss what you want built, I figure out how long it'll take to build it, then we talk about how much it'll cost.

Okay, Sunday morning I woke up feeling dizzy and groggy and went to work. Being at work a short time I became so dizzy I nearly passed out on the floor so I went to ER. What do you think was wrong with me?

CRYSTALS! That's right I have crystals in my inner ear! Turns out over time calcium forms crystals in your inner ear fluid and everything is all well in good unless something dislodges them from where they are clinging. What does it take to dislodge them, a blow to the head, (nope didn't happen) car accidents (nope), stepping down hard off a curb, (what the hell, but no), sneezing (for F#$% sake I can sneeze and totally destroy my sense of balance at any time, still no) What happened was the night before I was walking really fast to get my work done and jerked my head to the side to avoid a wasp flying right at my face. It gave me a sudden headache and a moment of dizziness.

For the rest of my life I can break my body by making any sudden movements!!!

Then I get home and my computer is broke!

Turn it on and all I get is a black screen. The update broke my video driver and splat, no computer. After 3 dozen attempts to fix the driver I have one recourse wipe the drive. Thankfully the mint install disc gave me enough access to the HD to back up all my files so I've lost nothing accept for all my settings.

Anywho I've gotten 2 days off work to be sicker than shit and having to spend time re-installing my entire life on my PC.

Still have no clue what to make, what would you all like to see?
I never thought something like that would happen so quickly, gonna have to think of something special to do and quickly.

Okay what am I working on and how far along.

 

Mega Mom 9, Got the scenes started, I need to make 2 generic people models which will take maybe an hour at most along with another hour to add prop models. Probably another 3 hours to get all lighting done and lettered.

 

Lab Escape 41 is all rendered and just needs lettering.

 

Milkmaid is on hold. Writers block and such.

 

Red Riding Hood, this was supposed to be a 1 shot render and move on with my life. It's on hold due to making a Big Bad Wolf model. God know how long this will take.

 

Blinda and the Beast, well I have all of Blinda's expansions done so it just getting my act together enough to model all the props and finish the scenes.

 

Almost back up to Morphs ahead to start twice weekly posting of them.

 

On top of this I am working a full time job, sometimes 15 hours a day on a very random schedule and have other non-expansive art projects as well. Sorry that there is so much time between new images but I really am working as fast as I can to finish them up.